Metallica Sucks

By G. Mark Gormley   Back in the winter of 1999, I was a high school sophomore with questionable tastes in music.  Apart from the Blink 182 and Papa Roach CDs I already owned, sadly, I also asked for and received not one, not two, but three Metallica CDs for Christmas.  Before I list those […]

Continue reading


Gormley and Pi FAPcast About Nothing

Welcome to the latest Seinfeld edition of our FAPcast. I’m not really sure how we went 30 minutes but here goes nothing. Why Gormley is jewier than a Hitler nightmare. Why politics is gayer than Jordy at a gloryhole. How to finger your own butthole in 3 easy steps. http://goalsnow.info/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/FAPpodcast10.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | […]

Continue reading


Ward Trolling Shit

By G. Mark Gormley Obviously anticipating Warvette’s amateurish coverage of Super Bowl 50 in Santa Clara—this game is not being played in San Francisco, Pi sent me as backup to cover this “event” that the NFL is forcing San Francisco to foot most of the bill for.  Once again, the NFL—who, until recently, enjoyed being […]

Continue reading