A Deep Dive Into The NFL’s Top Teams
The following is a true story about the future of today’s NFL
1. Detroit Lions
Never before has there been such a team of destiny. Good football is art. The Lions are like the Mona Lisa of TD’s, the Sistine Chapel of play-making, and the ninja turtles of ground and pound (that’s 4 legendary artists for the kids keeping score at home).
2-27. Everybody Else Except GB, Chi, Oak, NYG, Minn, and SF
Gonna take a miracle for these teams to compete with the top team in the NFL. Most of these teams have less of a chance than hawkshaw does of making it through AA. (Editors note: Do natives even go to AA?) They are that ex-girlfriend you had to tell them they were a good painter because it was the gateway into her bra strap.
Last (Tie): Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears, Minnesota Vikings, Oakland Raiders, NY Giants, and San Francisco Fagets
Give these teams good players and they’re still Sitton a long way from competing. These teams are to art what baby Jordy is to smearing shit on the walls… and also adult Jordy too.
You have to hand it to this kind of top notch professional journalism.
Up at ESPN HQ, they’re busy promoting the latest dipshit with a big mouth… but here at the last haven of true sports journalism, we present only the hard-hitting unbiased facts.
Now go back and read the first word of every paragraph…